Stina Jackson has spent many hours writing vivid and evocative descriptions of Skellefteå's winding country roads, mountains, and endless pine forests, in contrast to the deserts, heat, and road dust in the southwestern USA where she now lives.
Stina Jackson grew up in Skellefteå and then at the age of 22 moved to Colorado's largest city, Denver, which is located between the Rocky Mountains and the Great Plains. Her third psychological thriller, "Förinta världen i kväll" (Destroy the World Tonight), will be published on September 18.
– When I lived in Västerbotten, I didn't see its beauty as I do now. But the longer I've been away, the more I realize what a unique place I grew up in. In my youth it was more like, 'Oh, what a boring town'. I wanted to see the world. But now I am proud to be from here.
Today she sits in Skellefteå's Café Lilla Mari, a place she always returns to when she visits her hometown. She has spent many hours here writing vivid and evocative descriptions of winding Skellefteå country roads, Västerbotten mountains, and endless pine forests all in deep contrast to the deserts, heat, and road dust of the American Southwest.
– My previous two books were set in the interior of Västerbotten. But this book is about a woman who grew up in Skellefteå and then moved to the USA. It has elements of my own life and a longing to bring together the places I've lived and where I'm living now.
Stina falls silent and looks out the window, which has become misty from the persistent summer rain.
– But I don't think the main character is me in any way. Well, maybe she is. Both the mother and the daughter might have parts of me. I think about how it's an emptiness for both the one who leaves and the one who stays.
Stina Jackson has struggled to reconcile her different worlds; "But I feel, after 17 years abroad, that we humans are much more alike than we are different. Regardless of where we live."
She looks down at the table and continues speaking quietly.
– I describe a longing for the child, the unknown, the hometown, and everything in between. I've had trouble reconciling my different worlds. Right now I feel there are so many divisions in the world. Everyone is divided into 'us' and 'them'. But after 17 years abroad, I feel that human beings are much more alike than different. No matter where we live.
Her debut novel "Silvervägen" (The Silver Road) was published in 2018, and was selected as the book of the year in Sweden. Her second novel "Ödesmark" (published as The Last Snow in English) was published in 2020, and now her third book "Förinta världen i kväll" (Destroy the World Tonight) will be released this autumn A common theme in her books is her raw descriptions of loneliness.
– Sure, I can identify with lonely people because writing is a solitary pursuit. But I chose this life, and I enjoy being alone.
Every morning, Stina brews coffee, walks her dog, then sits at her desk in her windowless room and writes for three to four hours. After lunch she goes for a run, and in the afternoon she likes to read books her mother has sent her. She has, of course, read all the authors from Västerbotten.
– I am proud to come from a strong storytelling region with predecessors like Sara Lidman and Torgny Lindgren. This Västerbotten heritage, I've really started to embrace it in a whole new way. Because I've realized that it's my strength as a writer to have this heritage.
Her debut novel "Silvervägen" (published as The Silver Road in English) was released in 2018 and was voted Book of the Year in Sweden. In 2020, her second novel "Ödesmark" (The Last Snow in English) was published, and this autumn, her third book "Förinta världen i kväll" will be released. Something common in her books is her raw descriptions of loneliness.
She's interrupted by two older ladies who talk loudly as they shake rain off their umbrellas and order coffee. Stina smiles and says there's something special about the women from Västerbotten.
– The spirit and... Well, we don't complain. We just do, we endure. The women in my family have never been complainers; they're very strong and proactive. My grandmother was truly a tough woman. Right up until the end, she exhibited a strength beyond the ordinary. She was proactive, shoveled snow, and went fishing. I think that's the mentality here. To manage on your own without complaining.
When Stina describes the strength of Västerbotten women, her dialect emerges, the 'sj' sounds gently humming. She has previously described her imagination as a bit wild and that she doesn't always know where her characters will lead her. It's as if she has access to an extra world. This is also evident in our conversation. Her associations with what she's just said lead us to new lines of thought and topics of conversation.
– I don't think I want to have children. Actually, when I was a teenager, I told my mom that, and she said it would change. But I'm now 40 years old and haven't changed my mind. Because I believe that if you're going to have children, you really have to want to. I think it's such a significant decision. Being a mother is a lifelong commitment. At the same time, I've realized, well, I understand it, that I'm missing out on something immense. It's also a sorrow, choosing to opt out. When you make a choice, you're always choosing to give up something. There can be sorrow in that too. My choice became writing.
"There's always an underlying worry that the reader won't feel anything for the people I write about, people who are so alive to me," says Stina Jackson, who is now publishing her third novel.
It took her three and a half years to write her third book. She let a few people read the manuscript during the process.
– My husband is American and can't read Swedish. However, he asks every day, 'What's happening now, what's happening today?' But he can't sit and say, 'This page was beautiful' or 'This scene was powerful.'
Stina describes her writing career as something she's always dreamed of. It gives her access to more worlds than her own.
– I immerse myself in the characters I write about. Because they're so alive for me. At the same time, I never really know where they'll lead me from day to day. Sometimes, it sparks, and then I'm so darn happy. And other days, I think, 'Wow, everything feels so flat, this is so lifeless.'
When a book she's working on is almost finished, Stina describes feeling a mix of shame and anxiety.
– I can wake up at night and feel like, 'Oh my God, what am I doing?' and just feel total darkness. Massive doubts. Then I know that something good is coming. Because if I don't feel that, then I know there's no life in the text.
Stina takes a sip of her coffee. She holds both hands around the large mug.
– I almost feel a sense of shame when I finally send the manuscript to the publisher. I'm not sure why I feel this kind of vulnerability. Even though I absolutely don't write about myself, there's still something from my inner self on the pages. You're still telling and embodying a feeling based on what you have access to. And there's always an underlying worry that those who read it won't feel anything for the people I write about, people who are so alive for me.
Stina Jackson moved from Skellefteå to Denver when she was 22.
The rain has stopped, and Stina's coffee cup is empty.
– When I start writing a book, I have no idea how the book will end. It's like life. You never know how it will end or what will happen tomorrow. Regardless of where we live or come from, we all go through the same emotions, the same traumas, the same loneliness, the same survival processes, and the same longing.
Stina is grateful that her books have been translated because it has created an additional dimension of belonging to her husband and his family.
- They didn't really know what I was doing. They didn't have access to the side of me that is such a big part of my life. So when my husband was able to read the draft of the translation of "The Silver Road" for the first time, he was completely moved. Now we are both longing for "Destroy the world tonight" to be translated as well. Even though I like the solitude, it's still nice to be able to share.