Ellen, Kris and their boys.
We rarely talk about extended family, such as the grandparents. We usually assume they stay at home, to be seen occasionally in the summer or at Christmas.
Which is where Julia and Neil Garrity come in. They didn’t just want their daughter Ellen, her husband, Kris, and their three young boys to move without them to Skellefteå. So they moved, too.
Julia, 62, was totally immersed in family life in Walsall in England’s West Midlands region. Ellen, a teacher, had three sons under five, and needed as much support from her mum as possible, who fitted her own small business with picking up, feeding and looking after her grandkids.
But then, one day, Ellen, who had long yearned to live abroad, told her parents she was moving to work in Skellefteå.
Julia wasn’t hugely surprised.
– Ellen had always loved travelling, and we knew one day she’d want to live abroad, she says.
Julia was, however, a little surprised by her own reaction.
– My brother-in-law had just passed away at the age of 62. His death really gave me a kick up the arse. I've never lived more than 10 miles away from where I was born. Who knows what tomorrow's gonna bring? So I thought, ‘Let's do it. Let's have an adventure.’
Neil, 64, Julia’s husband, was game, too. He’d sold his business, and was helping Julia with hers.
– It was a good time to do something. We were free from employment obligations and our house sold quickly, Neil says.
Ellen, who had already made the move, went to see a house for sale in Burträsk that her mum had seen online. She live-streamed the viewing for her parents, and, although there was lots of work to be done, her parents liked it. They bought it and moved over in September 2021.
– Given the age we were there was a massive sense of trepidation, but also of adventure as well. We drove all the way through Sweden, and it’s quite overwhelmingly different to the UK, says Neil.
– But we were really excited. We loved the nature, the landscapes, and the people were so friendly and so welcoming - they really could not have been nicer, says Neil.
Julia and Neil Garrity in their Burträsk garden.
But then winter came.
– It came as a massive shock to me, says Julia, who continues:
– However, it wasn’t the cold that bothered me; it wasn’t the snow; it wasn’t even the darkness. It was the total lack of color. Everything is monochrome in winter here. It’s a black-and-white world. Winters in the UK can be pretty miserable but I can still go for a walk in a park and see some greenery, even if it’s only a patch of grass, says Julia.
Neil and Julia live near the lake in Burträsk, where Neil has a boat, but even that offers Julia no respite from the lack of colour in winter.
– I’ve walked down to the lakeside in winter. But there I can't tell the sky from the lake, and the lake from the shore. It is just one mass.
Julia went back to England to see her son, Tom and his family for five weeks. Despite the break, upon her return to Sweden, depression set in.
Juia Garrity with Rita, a Patterdale terrior.
– I went to see a psychologist who really helped. He made me understand why I was feeling the way I was, at least partially, she says.
The lack of color was one ingredient in Julia’s cocktail of sadness, according to the psychologist.
– He said he wasn't surprised I felt so awful, she says.
– He said, ‘You’ve lost your home area where you grew up, you’ve lost your actual physical home, and you’ve lost your business, your profession, which was central to who you were.’
Julia’s business was in restoring Art Deco furniture, and it was something at which she was very skilled and successful.
– I miss it a lot, but it’s so daunting to start everything up from the ground again, she says.
An example of Julia Garrity's furniture restoration craft.
How does she feel about the oncoming winter?
– I’m concerned, but I feel more equipped to deal with winter now, she says.
– I’m going back to England in November, where my grandson will be born to my son’s wife. I already have a granddaughter, Margo, there. And that also kills me, because it feels like I’ve left one child to be with another.
– You’d feel the same if you were in England and Ellen and the kids were here, Neil says.
Sometimes, Julia’s entire body seems to hum with frustration with her situation.
– In the summer I'm sitting in my quiet garden, listening to the birds singing, saying to myself, ‘How lovely is this?’ And then in the winter, I'm crawling the walls. We met this lovely Ethiopian family in Burträsk - really nice people. They’ve had it very rough. And then I get angry at myself. My troubles are nothing to theirs, Julia says, getting cross with herself.
– All our journeys are different, says Neil gently, stroking his wife’s arm.
– It doesn’t make yours any less tough.