1. ”NO THANKS, I HATE COFFEE”
The Swedes take their coffee very seriously. They may not be a religious people but don’t take the name of Java in vain. If you don’t like it, well, you’re going to have to lump it because the sacred ceremony of ’fika’ is celebrated at least twice a day. And you don’t want your new Swedish boss to think you’re not a team-player, do you? Tea drinker? Nope, it doesn’t count.
2. ”WHERE’S EVERYONE GONE? IT’S ONLY 5PM”
It’s time to disentangle yourself from all your previous working practices. Take lunch. Have coffee breaks. Go home on time. Many parents in the office will likely have already gone to pick up their kids from school at 4pm, so there might only be a skeleton crew left by 4.30pm. Don’t be a hero – don’t think that your boss will be impressed by the fact you’re prepared to put an extra hour in. They won’t. They’ll just think you’re a saddo with no friends.
3. ”IS TOBIAS STILL ON PATERNITY LEAVE?”
Tobias is almost certainly availing himself of the generous 16-month parental leave which can be shared out between mothers and fathers, with three months of that set aside specifically for each parent.
It’s not an uncommon sight in Skellefteå to see a clutch of men pushing buggies round the city centre before stopping off for an afternoon latte. Tobias might be your favourite colleague, but you’ll just have to chill out. You may not see him for quite a while yet.
4. ”A DESK WHERE YOU STAND UP? WHAT’S THE POINT OF THAT?”
Standing desks have become commonplace in Sweden. There are few offices that don’t have the option to at least share access to a standing desk. So that huge leather office chair you used to lust after, the one with the inbuilt drinks cabinet, that’s a no-no. Stand up for your new Swedish boss.
Get used to the phrase ’work-life balance’. You’ll hear it a lot in Sweden. Swedes may not be fully ready to embrace a six-hour workday, but they already enjoy some of the shortest work weeks in Europe.
5. ”I DON’T NEED ANY HELP WITH THE REPORT – I’LL JUST STAY UNTIL 10PM TO FINISH IT OFF”
The Swedish workforce is all about cooperation too. There’s no great scope to be a maverick. If there is a pressing deadline, everyone will be expected to work extra hours and muck in. All for one, and one for all, and all that. There’s simply no need to try to be workaholic – it just won’t get you anywhere.
This article is a column and the opinions are the writer's own.